Of Thumbs and Sticks

Was this the last bad pun for today? I promise nothing.

I want to you think about the title of this post, just a little. Done? Okay. What am I to talk about? Consoles. Good. More accurately, shooters on consoles. First person shooters on consoles. I know many a guy who despises these, for various reasons. So let me just outline a few of them.

Because blergh.

Yeah. Great reason, Dan. Got anything a little more elaborate?


You can’t possibly aim as good with a gamepad as with a mouse.

Ah, a proper sentence. And… you’re wrong. You can’t do it. I can. Though admittedly I’ve never been good on the PC. Because for your hands it is an entirely different experience, they have to learn to “pwn” all over again. You aim with the entire right hand. I aim with the right thumb and all other fingers have their own task, even if it is something as trivial as preventing the pad from falling to the floor.


Auto-Aim makes it too easy.

Er… okay… that is admittedly harder to disprove. Let me explain it using Team Fortress 2. You play a Sniper. In order to accurately hit your target, you move your mouse slowly. Or tilt the thumbstick just a wee bit. Guess which is harder. Hint: It ain’t the mouse. Also, a sniper or similarly accurate shooter will always have one major drawback to the spray and pray classes, namedly Pyro, Heavy and also the passive Medic: These classes can set the sensitivity higher without losing too much accuracy. You can’t because as a Sniper you’ll never hit anything again and that… well, kind of defeats the purpose.


Aiming is much, much slower.

Depends on your setting, but generally yes. So? All your enemies online also aim slower, which makes it a fair fight again and if you had read the previous part you’d know that it can add a hell of a challenge. Or take F.E.A.R. Files, for example. The AI has, as far as I can tell, not been adapted to the different and slower controls. Thus they still attack at a pace fit for the PC version. This makes the console version much, much harder and also emphasizes the importance of the slow motion feature.


The graphics are worse.

Nowadays, admittedly. But if your computer was from 2006, could it do any better? I thought not. Also, have you seen how awesome Skyrim looks on the 360? Your argument is invalid. Besides, I’m totally not discussing with a graphics nazi. Get the hell out of here.


I’m most definitely not paying anything to play Team Fortress 2. That game is free, you jackass.

Yes, and I am angry at Valve for that. The gamer/turd-ratio will drop significantly in the next few weeks. This won’t end well. However, I feel you also meant paying for Xbox LIVE Gold. Well. It costs six bucks a month and you can play all your multiplayer games online. Compare that to World of Warcraft, which costs twice as much for a single game. And, sorry Mythos, at least XBL didn’t have to go offline for three weeks, so I feel less bad about paying for it. Besides, there’s also Xbox LIVE Free (I think it’s called now). Can’t play online then though. Cry me a river.


I’d like to point out that, the last one aside, I did not pull any of those out of my rear. Those are all real arguments. That said, I think I’ll play more Halo 3 in the future. Just because I can and it doesn’t suck nearly as hard as the fundamentalists wish to believe.

  1. Oh boy, your naive comments about the “game/turd ratio” on Team Fortress 2 make me want to go back to studying; that’s how bad your point was, mate. You clearly haven’t played the game much in recent months. “STOUT SHAKO FOR 2 REFINED”, anyone? Demopan?

    Maybe fresh new gamers will actually improve the community and reduce the hat-obsession it has become.

    Also, XBOX Live account information got leaked online by the same group that brought down the PSN. Only Microsoft didn’t care, unlike Sony. Sorry, Althir.

      • Althir
      • June 27th, 2011

      Eh, screw it. I felt like writing it and I wrote it so there’s that.

    • Gundam_mk2
    • June 28th, 2011

    Well if i still have my 2002 desktop, i would not play tf2 because it will run at only 15 fps.
    Console and pc fps thingy again.. if you have a good rig that play it on pc , if not than play it on the console OR the game is a dick only allow sever to be created by one company that does not have any sever near my country at all and i have to play in lagging korea sever *looking at my black ops sitting on my desk*.

    Best online game i played on console(that i owned): resident evil 5,uncharted2 , resistance 2, gta .
    Worst : metal gear solid ( because everyone i met in the game is a dick)

    Yeah i don’t own much online game 😦

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