Yet another Addition

To my library, that is. Well, technically it’s two but one barely even counts as a game, really.

But before I begin, the story of Game Room:

It’s a virtual Arcade where you can place cabinets, decorate rooms and all that. Essentially, it’s Sims: Arcade (does that exist? Dibs on the idea). In order to play anything, though, you have to purchase the individual cabinets for real, actual money.

The problem is, Game Room itself is free and offers the full 1.000 Gamescore. So gamers are tempted to download it for some free, easy achievements. Unfortunately, you can get a total of, I think, seven achievements without buying anything, leaving you forty-nine short. How is that a problem? Percentage, mate. Since Game Room, my Gamescore is less than 50% of what it could possibly be. Not that I was much of an achievement [Censored]*, but fifty per cent should be very much doable.

Rating: It would be unfair to rate Game Room, since it is not even a game, it’s more like Steam in that regard.

Thus, now the games.


The name sounds weird and like one big typo, but that’s it’s name. Fact.

In case you noticed not, that’s a game within Game Room. A game which I paid three bucks for, but that’s totally worth it. As opposed to most games you can find in Game Room, this one is actually controllable – in many games, you shoot around the screen as soon as you do so much as look at the analog stick too long.

It’s  an Arcade game. Game Room comes with different kinds of games: Atari 2600, Intellivision and Arcade. Intellivision are the weirdest to control, I might add. Because the controller is for the most part a keypad and the Xbox just doesn’t have the proper button layout.

But back to Gyruss. Unsurprisingly, it is a space shooter, like many renowned Arcade games (Asteroids and Space Invaders, just to name the only two I know), but very different from these in that it is 3D-ish. It’s intense and considerably harder than it looks like, but awe-[Censored]-some.

Rating: Recommended!
For being nigh thirty years old, it is very awesome and for as little as three bucks you really can’t do anything wrong. If you don’t trust me this far, Game Room offers one free Demo session of ten minutes for every game. See for yourself.


It’s actually very much what it sounds like. At least in concept: Find a golden chalice and slay dragons while you’re on it. Problem is, it’s on the 2600, which has graphics that are fairly similar to those of a, yet has considerably fewer buttons than a typewriter. Namedly, one. One button for an RPG. A maze with a fairly odd layout (that is, if screen A is to the right of screen B, you’re not guaranteed to get to A when going right from B), some castles, some objects – a sword, a bridge (you carry a bridge around. I kid you not), keys to the individual castles and of course the aforementioned chalice. You bring it back to the gold (that is, yellow) castle, the game is over. Problem: If you know the way through the maze – which you can figure out within a few minutes – it’s just around thirty seconds of gameplay before you have the chalice safe and sound in gold castle. The dragons are also wusses: One of them runs away from the key to the golden castle. From. The. Key.

Rating: Erm… fuck it.
Barely even passes for a game and as I’ve been told by a thirty year old British guy named Neil, it even sucked for 80s standards. Why did I pay for it? I honestly don’t remember.

That’s me for now. Buying two games – and one other thing called a “Mascot”, which is actually an asteroid and the asteroids spaceship, just flying around the arcade – got me to as many as another dozen achievements. This and the fact that Gyruss if f’ing awesome make Game Room much less of a pissoffness (I just made that word up, I think.)

* That was not Mythos. I wasn’t sure which word to put there. Use your imagination.

Fun Fact: Marijuana and Cell phones can help against Alzheimer’s. Seriously.

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