“Games on Demand” my ass.

No, seriously. Microsoft, stop lying. If there is a 24 hour delay between clicking “buy” and starting to play it isn’t “On Demand”, you… gnrgh.

But what the hell am I even talking about? Well, in this particular case it is Dead Space. Granted, it would have taken just as long to (legally, for I am aware of a torrent less than half the size) download the PC- or PS3-version. And I am actually less pissed off by Microsoft, for the download was very much anticipated (face it, how can you play without the files?) than by my ISP. We are paying for four MBit/s. How much do we get? Around 1 MBit/s. Six hours would still have meant “next morning” for Dead Space, but this way it was “next evening”.

Which brings me to the actual topic.

That guy is dead.

That guy is dead. Very dead, actually.


Space, as seen from a spaceship.







So, I guess the title is justified. Both shots are directly from the XBox, so excuse the bad quality, my video input card is standard definition.
Dead Space probably earned the title of “most violent game in history”, since, quite literally, the point of the game is to dismember your enemies. Not just kill them, tear them the fuck apart.
Several factors added to me fearing this game: Most of all, a mild claustrophobia. Spaceships are usually not very roomy and if you add the constant danger that comes from massive amounts of zombie mutants it’s not getting any better.
But after the first chapter it’s not nearly as scary as I imagined it would be – for one because it is a hell of a lot slower than an FPS guy like me would anticipate.
Like you likely guessed from the introduction, I bought this on Games on Demand. Both my operating system and my xbox are set to English. The xbox.com-page from where I bought it was English. The description in the “Active Downloads” window was… German. Okay… but it also said that I could only choose between French and German. Why French? Why the fuck would I want to have the game in French? The only thing I can do in French is ask for intercourse (note to self: needs field testing), so why the fuck French, not English? I want English! German dubs suck by far most of the time, especially in video games. Half-Life 2, undoubtably one of the greatest games of it’s kind, is barely playable in the German version. Luckily, Steam always provides English versions to whoever wants them. Which, in GoldSrc-games, also makes them uncut. Thanks! The only German dub I actually ever liked was in a point and click adventure from, I think, 1993: Simon the Sorcerer.

Surprisingly, the German dub of Dead Space did not disappoint. Quite the contrary, I was pleased by the quality.

Not to mention that even the German version of Dead Space is entirely uncensored, which is a great relief and very surprising, given that, as mentioned before, it is probably the goriest game to ever be released. Germany is quite big on censorship, especially in video games. For instance, take Quake IV. These two shots show the same scene:

Uncut version

Uncut version

German version

German version







(Images from http://www.schnittberichte.com)

I am not kidding. That is the exact same part of the game. On the left, you see the normal version. With appreciable amounts of blood. The right shows the German version, where one can not find even a single drop of blood throughout the entire game. Really, the German Quake IV is cleaner than most hospitals. This in mind, it is almost a miracle Dead Space got through without censorship. Oddly, Prey and Doom 3, both of which run on the exact same engine as Quake IV and both of which are about equally bloody also got through uncut. As it appears, the guys who give ratings are assholes.

I… kind of forgot what the hell I wanted to talk about. Eh, whatever. I ranted about various things, that’s gotta count for something.

  1. It does count for something. You basically presented the state of gaming in Germany and the pitfalls of Games on Demand. Good job!

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